this blog is now “celebrity masterchef: how three ex-celebrities learnt how to cook chips from a box” and utilities that can cause infertility; stay away from that tap you devil child!

i am in a semi colon mood.

so i haven’t been blogging much recently, not that many care but the reason is because i’ve been having lots of FAMILY TIME. spending lots of time with the family. not my mother, god. i can’t stand her. my aunties and stuff. it was fun, involved quite a bit of drinking, too much eating, and fun. i feel so very fat it’s unbelievable. i’m going to weigh myself tonight, and i expect i weigh at least 10 stone now. before i was at a nice 9 stone. bastard cream cakes. if it’s bad i’m going to strive to lose weight, any idea how?

yesterday night i got quite drunk. it was grandad’s birthday (71) and we were drinking lots of moscow mules (part vodka, part some weird other strong alcohol, part ginger ale) and beer throughout the night, and eating party food.

right now i’m sat here feeling quite ill and i haven’t got much to say. oh, henrietta started a blog, it’s in my blogroll somewhere, can’t be bothered directly linking.

how about that global warming eh? feels like it, it’s been so hot. there’s also been reports of the “fake widow” spider in britain, and reports of bites and stuff. since i am petrified of them, this is not good news. i’m just praying that the camel spider doesn’t migrate over here. i would probably move out of the country if that was ever to happen. the camel spider is currently on my top list of things i want to die. check this out.

this gives me nightmares. jesus christ. on the topic of spiders, check these out. they’re horrifying.

the cobalt blue spider. if all spiders were like this, then we could see them easier. then we could KILL THEM.

the goliath bird eater. scary as fuck.

huntsman spider, or clock spider. incredibly horrid legs. so with all these spiders, here’s the one i’m the most afraid of.

that’s right, the common house spider. fucking hell.

kudos to james for showing me these spiders, the scary twat.

argh fuck it all

i hate college when it gets like this. seriously, they’ve practically let us be all laid back and shit throughout the year, now they’ve piled EVERYTHING on us. we have so much work to do. and like 2 weeks to do it.

i’m practically spent up again. i keep delaying my trip to birmingham again every week, since i spend it on my phone to talk to hen. it’s getting ridiculous, as i’m putting like £30 a week on my phone alone. need to stop it! not that i don’t love talking to her, but i’d much rather see her then talk to her on the phone. she’s also a bit down at the moment, which is rather bad for me! i don’t care though, i’ll put up with it.

had some interesting conversations today. mainly about the male prostate gland. matty seems to believe that tickling it will make the male spaff instantly. i don’t believe this but it would be hilarious. considering it’s in the arse, it makes sense why gay sex is popular, since otherwise it would be ouch. though girls don’t have one, so why do they enjoy it? hmm. ah well.

i’m going to make an attempt to find NEW PEOPLE on the internet to talk to, so if you have MSN, hit me up. iamnothomo@gmail.com is mine. i only use MSN for now though, but if you have myspace too add me on that, i’d be happy to talk. http://www.myspace.com/dickoxcore is my profile. with a lovely picture . smashing.

i realise that i don’t actually talk about anything interesting in my blog, sorry!

eeesh.

yet another appropriate title for a blog post.

this weekend was spent dying! i am really not well, and now i am in college being ill.

seriously, nothing happened this weekend. i spent it dying in bed and talking to hen whenever i could. which i couldn’t really.

she’s on work experience this week, so i’ll barely be able to talk to her. ah well, i hope her week goes ok!

and today i miss out on 65daysofstatic. which is shit. i really wanted to go but money problems prevent me from going. shit.

what an interesting dream.

so i’m still ill, and since i’ve been ill i’ve been having really strange dreams. one dream i met my girlfriends parents and we had a lol then suddenly we were all naked or something, and then a fire happened and i woke up about then. this dream, however, was a lot more interesting and scary.

so i was at home waiting for someone. i was stood by my window just waiting for someone to come. a car to pull up. i waited and waited, and eventually someone came. it was a car full of my old friends. anyway, we drove all day and eventually made it to some weird hall place, and there, of all people, were DRAGONFORCE. yes, i dreamt i went to a dragonforce concert. how scary is that? there they were, all of them. i even met them apparently, with one of them with an awful giant mouth, and the guitarist and such. anyways, we were waiting for them to play, but i went into some sideroom and there was paris hilton, so i eventually ended up having sex with paris hilton somehow. about this time i woke up in a cold sweat. that was an awful dream.

helen FINALLY got round to uploading SOME of the pictures from saturday, so i might steal a few and put them up. there are some hilarious ones.

in other news, putting the camel spider in your blog gets you views. really, i’ve had over 70 views from people searching camel spider or camel spiders. and the picture i put of the japanese crab spider has over 20 views already! not bad for a days work in my opinion.

i miss hen so much. need to see her soon!

i hate being single :(

so not alot has happened recently, but i am single! any offers? ;D

ball is dead! world cup ‘66 man of the match died yesterday

lately i’ve been reading up on spiders (despite being a severe arachnophobiac) and came across the camel spider. it’s VICIOUS, it eats lizards for christ sake. there’s also the japanese spider crab, which is actually beautiful. i mean, look at it.

it’s a delicacy in japan apparently.

two girls killed a girl “because they felt like it”. utter twats.